When you understand how your brain works, you can make it your greatest asset.
10 years into my marriage I was hollowed out and drained.
I was still functioning as a wife and mom, but it was more a robotic completing of the motions than something my heart was in.
I felt disconnected from my spouse and kids and most of all, disconnected from myself.
I knew that something had to change, or I wasn’t going to make it through the next 20 years.
I found a phenomenal therapist.
A woman who met me exactly where I was at and ever so gently started to question my beliefs about myself and my life.
She didn’t believe my story that I was broken and needed fixing.
She questioned the health of the interactions I was currently having in my relationships. And she helped me take the hard, terrifying look at what I was really feeling inside.
I unearthed patterns and concepts that I’d learned as a child that were still driving my life then, but that were no longer serving me. In fact, they were causing a lot of problems.
Thus began a two-and-a-half-year process to come back to trusting myself and allowing my feelings.
And then two years into therapy, I found coaching.
Coaching was where I learned the tools that allowed me to really get into my brain and untangle my beliefs about myself, my relationships, and my roles. This was the fuel on the fire I’d started with therapy.
With the cognitive component of coaching, and learning that everything in my life was being created from my thoughts and feelings, I was able to make huge changes in my life faster than I ever had before.
I was able to see clearly how I was yelling and freaking out around my kids because of the mental suffering I was creating for myself around my role as a mother.
As I processed feelings I’d stuffed down and changed my thoughts, I saw a dramatic reduction in my reactivity with my kids.
I identified deep beliefs about myself I’d picked up as a child that were hurting me. Beliefs that I couldn’t trust myself, I needed to make others happy to be loved, and my wants weren’t important.
With the tools I learned in coaching, I began to actually process and dismantle them.
I started to see myself differently. To love my humanness. To embrace my imperfections.
Thanks to coaching I was able to finally get clear enough to really love my spouse for who he was and to ultimately still make the decision to get a divorce.
The difficult eight months of that process were only made possible because of coaching.
It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and I went through it with more self-love, patience, and awareness than I’ve ever had before in my entire life.
I am far from being done with my life journey, but when I look back on the changes I’ve made in the past year, I am blown away at how coaching has accelerated my growth.
It has helped me be more decisive, intentional, focused, present, aware, and grounded.
I no longer see myself as the enemy, the broken human that needs fixing, but rather the master of my destiny and the dreamer of huge, beautiful, absolutely possible dreams.
This is what I want for all of my clients. And I know it’s possible.
I have watched clients in six months make the connections and shifts in belief through coaching that took me 2 years of therapy. The tools that I teach are life changing and empowering.
Once you understand how you’re brain works and what’s really going on in there, there’s no stopping you from changing whatever you want in your life.