Hello, my lovelies!

Okay, this is the one so many of you have been waiting for, and let me tell you, it’s been a journey to get here. I actually recorded this episode a few days ago, and it was ! But, plot twist—my assistant told me the audio was messed up.  I was so bummed, but after processing all those feels, I’m back at the mic, feeling more grounded and ready to bring you what’s meant to be shared.

So, let’s dive into our deep exploration of one of my favorite topics: affairs. This episode will break down the pros and cons of affairs with a no-nonsense, realistic approach. Before we get into the nitty-gritty, I want to set the container for these episodes by reminding you that these are just thoughts and stories. Stories are powerful—they light us up and drive change.

I’ve realized over my years of personal work and coaching that sharing stories is part of my gift. It’s our right to define, digest, and interpret the world through our own lenses and share that with others. So, whether my words resonate with you or not, always check in with your inner truth.

We’re diving deep into the tangled web of infidelity and its impact on our personal growth and relationships. This isn’t your typical conversation about affairs. I’m here to break down what choosing an affair might actually mean and help you navigate the messy emotions and decisions that come with it.

Let’s get real: there’s no magic pill to fix everything. Affairs, like any other life choices, come with their own set of pros and cons. If you’re already in an affair or considering one, it’s crucial to make that decision consciously and fully understand its implications. I’m sharing three pros and two cons from my experiences and those of my clients, shedding light on both the highs and lows.

One pro? Realizing what’s been missing in your life. Many women marry for stability and later discover a hunger for deeper physical and emotional intimacy that wasn’t initially valued. I share powerful stories of clients waking up to their sexuality and desires, and how it has transformed their understanding of love and fulfillment.

But let’s also talk about the cons. One of the biggest? Labeling yourself as a bad person. The mind games and guilt that follow can be overwhelming. I tackle this head-on, challenging the harmful narratives that paint women as villains for seeking what they need. We must recognize the years of emotional starvation that often precede an affair and stop letting shame dictate our stories.

For those feeling the weight of self-betrayal, this episode is a gentle reminder that you are worthy of love, excitement, and a life that truly aligns with your highest potential. We’ll also touch on the idea of mutuality and wholeness in relationships, moving beyond traditional roles to meet as equals.

Remember, if you’re feeling judged by others, it’s often more about their own hidden insecurities than about you. An affair might be your soul’s way of screaming, “I deserve better!” and a sign that your self-preservation instincts are still alive and kicking.

We’re going to explore the messy and complex world of affairs. Spoiler alert: the stereotype that women who have affairs are manipulative and ungrateful is absolute BS. Coming from someone raised Mormon, I’ve seen firsthand how these cultural and religious ideas shape our views on affairs. Most women I talk to never thought they’d have an affair, but they find themselves deeply torn between their longings and the reality of their marriages.

What’s really happening is bigger than you, your husband, or your affair partner. It’s about the artificial polarization of human qualities into gendered stereotypes, which sustain patriarchy. Women are often relegated to self-abnegating roles, while men are pushed into hyper-rational, dominant ones. This limits everyone’s ability to be fully expressed.

Mary Daly’s book, *Beyond God the Father*, beautifully articulates this. She argues that becoming whole persons—embracing a wider range of qualities and skills—can challenge these stereotypes and lead to radical changes in human consciousness and behavior. This concept of becoming androgynous human persons, blending so-called masculine and feminine qualities, is something I’m obsessed with. It’s what I see unfolding in many of your lives and marriages.

The roles we think we’re supposed to play in marriage are not enough. Husbands stuck in provider roles expect their financial support to guarantee a happy marriage, but that’s no longer the case. Women are asking for more—emotional connection, intimacy, authenticity. And many men aren’t stepping up, which leads to the breakdowns we’re seeing.

Affairs are not the problem but a symptom of deeper issues. Just like in *Les Mis*, where the main character is punished for stealing bread to feed starving children, we need to look beyond the surface. Affairs often happen because women are in marriages that don’t fulfill them. We need to understand the full story and address the root causes.

Join me as we peel back the layers and embrace the possibility of living a fully expressed and authentic life.

Tune in and let’s explore this intimate topic with the depth and honesty it deserves.

Don’t forget to rate and review if you enjoyed this episode! Your support means the world and helps other women find this podcast. If you’re looking for one-on-one support, check out my 90-minute intensives. I’m here to hold space for your truth.

Catch you next week for part two, where we’ll dive even deeper!