Your beliefs are what create your life. They are the lens through which you view the world and interpret reality.
So if you want a different life, than you have to start at the belief level.
If you try to change things with your actions alone, those changes will not stick. That’s why people can go on diets and lose 50 lbs but then gain it all back and more.
In those instances, core beliefs that are driving the overeating behaviors were not addressed and ultimately won out in driving the long-term behavior.
So what do you want to believe and how do you believe it?
There are 3 steps that can help you in changing your beliefs.
1. Find out what you believe now
What do you think about yourself? Your spouse? Your past? Your kids? Your future?
The thoughts that you think over and over again are your beliefs.
And what you believe is what you will subconsciously create.
You have to know what you are believing right now so you can see where you want to change things.
2. Decide what you want to believe
Once you’ve identified your beliefs and can see how they are creating your current reality, you get to decide which beliefs you want to keep and which are no longer serving you.
What would you like to believe instead? About your marriage? About yourself? About your spouse?
A word of caution here.
When changing old practiced beliefs, you want to select new beliefs that are believable for you. For example, if the old belief was “I can’t trust myself” and the new belief “I CAN trust myself” feels totally unbelievable, that’s okay. Recognize that your brain is rejecting such a big jump.
Instead, we use bridging thoughts to help us get there. Variations such as, “I am learning how to trust myself” or “I am experimenting with trusting myself” can help your brain move gradually to the new belief, “I CAN trust myself.”
3. Practice believing
Your old beliefs are just thoughts that you’ve practiced and told yourself over and over again, thus for the new beliefs, you want to do the same thing.
Like a muscle that you’ve never worked out before, building it up will take daily workouts at the gym. You do the same thing with a new belief.
Writing it down on a piece of paper and repeating it each morning. Setting it as a reminder in your phone. And most of all, staying aware of your old belief so that when it comes up, you can consciously replace it with the new one.
Our beliefs are changeable.
They are not set in stone.
You can create new beliefs to create a new life.