For the couple of years that I was considering divorce, there were lots of moments of intense pain interspersed with brief respites where I’d think things were going to get better and change.
But the pain always came back around.
At the time though, I didn’t know enough about pain to be able to use it to look deeper at myself and start changing.
Instead, it was more like a black pit that seemed to pull me in deeper and deeper with each new fall down into it.
It became a bludgeoning force in my life that would set off a cascade of shame, fear, panic, despair, and hopelessness.
I was in so much pain, that I began to believe I WAS the pain. That something was broken inside of me, and I would never be able to escape it.
But coaching changed all of that.
It taught me that pain is created by my thoughts, and my thoughts are not me. They’re just sentences that pop into my brain.
It taught me that the pain was there to be felt and processed. To be stepped into and examined rather than locked away and buried.
And as I started to look at my pain, it led me to beautiful realizations.
- That I wanted more in my life – more self-love, more joy, more presence.
- That I wanted to have my own back and honor how I felt inside.
- That I had dreams and desires I wasn’t acknowledging, and they were screaming inside of me to be let out.
Coaching gave me the tools to start making peace with the pain of life, and instead use it to feel more, go deeper, and evolve faster.
Now when pain comes up in my life, instead of running away and numbing and distracting myself from it, I usually get still and curious.
I know that there is something here wanting to be acknowledged, felt, experienced, and I now have confidence in myself that I can go there and come back deeper and more of myself than I was before.