Ep #2: Into the Future We Go

Join me on a journey through time as we delve into the past and present in this second episode of The Stay or Go Podcast.

Recorded a year and a half apart from the first, these episodes mirror the ebb and flow of life, reflecting the unpredictability of our human experiences.

I’ll take you through the monumental growth period I unexpectedly entered after recording the introduction episode. Life threw challenges my way—some heavy, some transformative. From the passing of my mother to pancreatic cancer, navigating trauma in my family of origin, and confronting repressed memories, this past year and a half has been a tapestry of emotions.

In this episode, I open up a little bit about going back to therapy, the unexpected parting of ways with my best friend, and the profound impact of recent societal changes. From the Supreme Court’s denial of women’s bodily autonomy to advocating for speaking openly about child abuse, I dive into topics that matter to me.

Amidst the heavy, there’s also the unexpected joy of love. I share a little insight into the excitement and challenges of a newfound love and exploring the depths of a relationship and the lessons it brings.

Hit subscribe, buckle up, and embark with me on this wild time travel trip forward.

“Intro episode for the podcast, TAKE TWO!”

Show Notes

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Ep #1: Welcome to The Stay or Go Podcast

Step into this first episode with me, Britta Jo, your guide and confidante as I share an overview of what this podcast focuses on including:

  • breaking free from fear-based narratives around divorce
  • embracing your authenticity so you can live life fully
  • realizing how shame and guilt actually keep you stuck
  • rethinking affairs

and much more.

Later in the episode, I dive into my own story going from a deeply ingrained religious identity to the profound decision to divorce. I explain my goal to take an authentic approach in my epsiodes, peppered with a hint of irreverence, to create a space that is both nurturing and provocative for my listeners.

I want this podcast to be not just a space for the disenchanted in marriage, but a sanctuary away from all of the noise around considering divorce for those seeking profound self-discovery and empowerment.

Get ready to embark on a journey of dispelling myths, cultivating self-love, and navigating the delicate balance between staying and going.

Featured on the Show

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Allowing Fear While Considering Divorce

Cause running away from it isn’t working.

You know the feeling.

That deep dark stomach gripping, squeezing, twisting pain.

The fast fluttering in your heart and fingers and the urge to run away.

Fear is one of the most powerful emotions we can experience right up there with love and grief.

And if you find yourself considering divorce, then the emotion of fear has been visiting more often.

As humans, our brain interprets fear as if it were a lion about to eat us, and it wants to move us into fight or flight.

For a lot of us as women, that looks like fighting against yourself for even considering a thought that created fear (“maybe I want a divorce”) or taking flight and running away from the feeling through distracting yourself.

This can look like excessive cleaning, productivity, people pleasing, care-taking, and shopping among other things.

But here’s the thing,

Fear can’t hurt you.

It can’t kill you. It can’t even touch you, because all it is is a vibration in your body that’s created by a thought you’re having.

And thoughts like,

“If I get divorced I’ll have to find a job and I haven’t worked in ten years” or

“I’ll be alone for the rest of my life,” or

“If I leave, I’ll hurt my children, but if I stay, I’ll hurt myself” create loads of fear.

And the more you run away from the fear, the bigger it gets.

It doesn’t go away and you can’t outrun it because it’s created with your mind. And last I checked, you can’t get away from your brain.

So stop running.

Just stop, turn around, and allow yourself to look that thought of yours in the eye.

“If I get divorced, I’ll have to find a job and I haven’t worked in ten years.”

  • Notice the fear as it comes up. Name it out loud. Focus on what it feels like in your body, not in your mind.
  • Close your eyes and ask yourself, what color is fear in my body? Is it fast or slow? Does it move?
  • Allow curiosity instead of resistance – “If this is just a vibration in my body, I wonder what will happen if I step towards it, instead of running away.”
  • What do you notice? How does fear feel different than other emotions in your body like excitement, joy, love?

I promise you can open to the human experience of feeling fear.

It can’t hurt you. It’s just a vibration in your body coming from your thoughts.

Photo by Vital Sinkevich on Unsplash