You want to know the how right?

• “But how am I going to move forward once I decide?”

• “What will all of that look like?”

• “How can I avoid mistakes?”

This is a point that all of my clients reach once they’ve coached with me long enough to have identified what they want, figured out their reasons for their choice, and are now ready to move forward.

And I get it, I really do.

I remember when I talked to my lawyer that first time and she told me that it would take 8 months minimum to get divorced and my brain was like “Say what?!”

I could not imagine how on earth I was going to make it through 8 more months. I felt like I was already at the breaking point and needed things to change NOW.

But here’s the reality, I didn’t.

I’m still here, still alive, and I went through each and every day of those eight months that it took to get divorced without knowing ahead of time what it would be like. 

And I was able to do that by trusting in my choice and managing my brain along the way.

The obsession you feel with knowing the “how” is just part of what our human brains are built to do.

You brain wants to analyze all of the risk, try to figure everything out ahead of time, and plan each step.

Some of that is what we do in coaching; we go in and clean out all the closets in your brain and sort and organize everything so that you have a solid foundation, but then there comes a point when it’s time to trust the foundation you’ve laid and just get in there and start going. 

Because here’s the thing, you never know “how” to do something until you actually “do it.”

Like learning how to swim or ride a bike, there’s only so much you can gain from talking and thinking about it before you just have to jump in the pool or get on the bike and start pedaling.  

And with the tools you learn in coaching, that journey of figuring out your “how” becomes less painful because you know how to not make all of the moments when things are tough and you fall down, mean that you’re failing and it’s never going to work. 

You know how to love yourself through all of it and manage your brain so that it’s working with you instead of against you.

Coaching is what helps you find your reasons for your choice and a strong “why” that you can come back to for commitment and resilience as you go through the “how.”

When you have a strong enough why, the how gets naturally figured out each day.

So ask yourself,

• Do I know my reasons?

• Do I have a “why” that I love and feel solid about?

If you don’t, invest in coaching to help you create that foundation, and then once you do, trust that the journey will reveal the “how” to you along the way.